imperfectly perfect

I'm sure that every father will did the same thing.
He will think that his boy is the perfect son.
No other baby will look more handsome, more cute, more adorable than his own baby boy.
And for that very reason, I will do exactly the opposite thing.

I don't think my baby is the perfect son.
He pees and shits whenever he likes with no alarming cry beforehand.
He looks cute only when he smiles and awakes, but when he sleeps his face thinks so seriously as if he had a country to run.
And about the handsome thing, how dare me comparing him with the perfect Jolie-Pitt new son.

Sounds fair enough?


Mmm.. Have I told you that my Ben looks sooo imperfectly perfect anyway? Hehe.

There's Always the First Time.

The first visit to gynaecologist.
The first congratulations on having a baby confirmed.
The first shortlisting names for baby boy and girl.
The first sign of a baby boy confirmed.
The first shopping spree for baby's stuffs.
The first caesarian operation.
The first cry from my baby boy.
The first baby bath.
The first baby feeds.

Welcome Ben Rui Avellino!
my first baby boy.

Citra Pariwara Huahaha..

Kenapa sih manusia ga pernah puas?
Supaya manusia bisa terus maju.
Trus kenapa sih manusia susah untuk bahagia?
kayanya sih karena bahagia itu mahal harganya, jadi harusnya ga gampang untuk ngedapetinnya.
Nah, kalo gitu kenapa orang suka ketawa?
ya supaya dia bisa membohongi perasaannya dan mencoba merasakan bahagia.
kenapa ketawa itu jarang bisa tulus?
karena kita tau, begitu ketawanya abis, bahagianya juga abis.
makanya itu sebabnya kenapa ada ketawa getir ya?
itu juga sebabnya kenapa ada ketawa nyinyir, ketawa iri, ketawa benci.

Gue ketawa getir ngeliat Jureepong present showreelnya JEH united yang dalam satu taun udah bikin satu dunia ngantri ngasi award.
Gue ketawa nyinyir ngeliat entry Citra Pariwara lokal yang banyak niru idenya orang lain yang udah duluan nongol.
Gue ketawa iri karena anak Daun Muda dan Young Directors bisa yakin dan optimis untuk mengubah muka iklan indonesia.
Gue ketawa benci karena gue masih dan hanya bisa ketawa aja..
Huahahaha...

sia-siaku

sudah terlalu lama,
ga lagi bisa ngerasa
perasaan yang dulu
slalu muncul didalem sini.

dulu dia bisa..
bikin dada gue tergetar,
bikin hidup jadi bermakna,
bikin semua doa berbicara.

minggu demi minggu
jelajah sudah
semua tempat
ketika dulu kita bersua

dimana kau adanya?
sang isi jiwa..
sang maha
tahu segala..

A freaky, Afterall..

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||| 30% Schizoid |||||||||||||||||| 74% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 62% Antisocial |||||||||| 38% Borderline |||||||||||| 42% Histrionic |||||| 30% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||||| 74% Avoidant |||||||||| 34% Dependent |||||||||| 34% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||| 26%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.

Hehehe.

On Fast Forward

Kebayang ga sih,
apa jadinya kalo kita punya remote yang bisa ngendaliin idup kita?
Tombol apapun yang kita pencet,
efeknya bakal kita rasain langsung di hidup yang kita jalanin..

Nah, selama 3 bulan ini gue ngerasain gimana rasanya hidup kalo difast-forward.
Rasanya persis banget sama film dvd bajakan yang dicepetin..
Semua action yang keliatan dari gambarnya yang cuman sekilas pandang sih kayanya seru, tapi rasa dan inti ceritanya ga ada yang berasa penting.

Kebayang?
Ga?
Mendingan gue contoin kali yaa..

Siaap?
Go!

February starts, balik dari bangkok ngurusin iklan, di Jakarta nyari laptop baru, ngurusin COP mobil, masih ngurusin tetek bengek iklan, ngurusin musik di Yaya, training urusan human resource, ngurusin balance score card buat kantor, ngelobby trainer buat learning forum di kantor, powerbook baru dateng, mobil jazz baru dateng, urusan tetek bengek rumah, then Boom! first important picture comes..


trus second honeymoon in Bali, keliling-keliling such a blurry places from way back then, balik jakarta sibuk latihan nyanyi buat urusan paskah, then go back to bali for corporate gathering, bawa si jazz untuk ke bengkel pertama kalinya, start to enjoy the new powerbook, ngedengerin budiman hakim yang legendaris di depan mata kepala sendiri, then Boom! second pictures starting to take a shape..


trus ga gitu banyak aktivitas yang berarti lewat begitu aja, sampe tiba-tiba Boom! third picture was made me hit the pause button.


The something weird in shape di dalem perut my other half starts to make sounds.
Di titik ini, gue baru nyadarin bahwa hidup gue selama ini adalah menunggu momen-momen ini datang.
"Wok wok wok wok wok" dengan tempo 3 sampe 4 wok per detik, cukup untuk membuktikan bahwa sebentar lagi di itungan beberapa bulan mendatang, gue bakal melengkapi fase hidup gue yang ketiga.

Boom, Boom, Boom! let's see the movie in full..

circle of friends under the stars

among the spanish hacienda
owned by khun kwanchai of maisonfilm
khao yai were filled with bright stars
and full of laughters

in the circle of new friends
with cold drinks and warm lobsters
bonfire and steady tent
seems so comfy to slept in

why is it
joy in this circle of friends
felt not true
than sorrow without you

miss you.